A Christmas Tale…..
Is the child in you still alive?
Do you have (or know) children or grandchildren for whom the magic of Christmas still shines brightly?
Below is the story I wrote and Trudi illustrated for every Aussie adult and child at Christmas.
It’s pure Australiana. It’s in big print so you can read it out easily.
It’s our Christmas gift that we give you to share with family, friends, relatives and total strangers.
If you print it out all we ask is that you retain the acknowledgement of our copyright.
Happy Christmas!
Peace and Love be within you!
Les and Trudi
The Aussie Christmas Tale
By Les Dyer
Illustrated by Trudi Ellen
There was pandemonium at the North Pole!
Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer, had just given Santa the bad news…..”As the Head of the Reindeer’s Union I’m telling you that my members won’t be working this year on Christmas Eve in Australia!”
“Why on earth not?!” asked Santa.
“Because it’s too hot, too dry, too big – and too far!” replied Rudolph.
“But we’re on a promise!” wailed Santa. “Aren’t you being just a little unfair? There’s tens of thousands of Aussie children who look forward to our Christmas visit each year. You can’t just stop deliveries! It’s plain rude!”.
“Not as rude as making the reindeer swelter in forty degree heat! Besides, several of my members suffered eye glare last year, not to mention desert dust!”. Rudolph shook his neck bell. “Australia is OFF the itinerary – and that’s final!”.
Santa shook his head in disbelief.
He was distraught.
Mrs Santa was incensed.
Miss Kringle, Santa’s secretary, was aghast.
Santa’s helpers were dismayed.
The reindeer were silent.
“Whatever are we going to do?” asked Miss Kringle one day when she was giving Santa his morning cup of Iced Chocolate. “We can’t just let the entire country down! All those children! And all those presents already made and awaiting delivery!”.
“I just don’t know what to do, Miss Kringle” replied Santa, “The reindeer are adamant!”.
“Then we’ll just have to find alternate transport!” cried Miss Kringle. “Nothing must stop Santa at Christmas!”.
“Alternate transport?” questioned Santa. “Australia Post or something?”.
“Certainly not!” scoffed Miss Kringle. “Why, you give hope to a world that thinks hope is out of its reach…..you stand for unselfish giving and caring! That is what has made you such a success. And that’s why it’s so important that you go – it’s your act of personal giving that captivates the world”.
“Not possible without reindeer, I’m afraid” commented Santa, sadly shaking his head.
“I have an idea!” exclaimed Miss Kringle. “Call in Jack Frost!”
“The world gets crazier every day!” Santa told Jack as he stood before him in his overalls. “First they stop building chimneys, taking away the magic of my sliding down the soot into their dining room! Then they insist I visit everyone at the same time, on the same day, all over the world! And finally they insist I wear the full outfit – thick red woollen suit and black gummies – regardless of the weather……”.
Jack nodded in agreement. He’d heard it all before.
“How can I help, Santa?” he asked.
“Rudolph has pulled the reindeer out of Oz this year!”grumbled Santa.
Jack whistled softly to himself. He’d been expecting it. For years he’d heard the traumatic tales of the mossies which were bigger than butterflies, the air traffic controllers’ go-slows, and the beer strikes….it was obviously no place to visit at Christmas!
“What do we do for the sake of the children?” he asked Santa.
“Improvise, Jack! Improvise!” whispered the old man as his beard quivered. “I want you to go to Australia and find an alternate means of transport for the night”.
“I could do with a suntan” answered Jack. “But what sort of alternate transport am I supposed to find?”.
“Six white boomers!” interrupted Miss Kringle who had been listening excitedly.
“White boomers?!” repeated Jack Frost. “What on earth are ‘white boomers’ when they’re at home?”.
“Big kangaroos, I think…..” said Santa, looking across at Miss Kringle for support. “We thought that maybe you could, err….convince them to pull the sleigh for us this year”.
“Do you expect them to get dressed up as reindeer?” asked Jack.
“Oh, certainly not!” replied Santa. “We want them to be themselves”.
“But they have to agree to pull the sleigh!!” added Miss Kringle.
“I suppose I can take my surfboard with me?” inquired Jack casually.
“Afraid not!” returned Santa. “There’s only ten days before Christmas – so it’s strictly business only!”.
“You have no time to lose!” added Miss Kringle. “We’re not even sure where you’ll find six white boomers……”.
“But they’re somewhere in Australia!” chimed in Santa.
“Somewhere?” repeated Jack Frost, dismayed and distressed.
“Definitely somewhere!” chorused Miss Kringle.
Santa turned to wrap up another present. Miss Kringle smiled coyly.
Jack saw himself out……..
It had been a bad start to the day for Jack.
Air traffic controllers had kept him in the air in a holding pattern for over an hour and he was feeling decidedly giddy. Then, they’d impounded his sleigh the moment he landed. Worse still, he’d been unable to convince any taxi driver to take him anywhere, all morning. They took one look at his little shiny black boots, light-blue tucked-in trousers, red jacket with the snow-white edging and tall peaked cap, complete with bell – and they’d toss him aside in favour of the next in line.
Another cab drew up alongside the kerb. Jack flung open the back-door and threw himself in.
“The city!” he muttered and clenched his teeth. To his amazement, the cab drew away from the taxi rank.
“What part?” asked Arthur, the driver, from the front seat. He peered into his rear-vision mirror to get a better look at the strange creature sitting in the back. Arthur had seen stranger. He’d been a cab driver a long time.
“I’m not sure” replied Jack Frost cautiously. “I’m actually searching for something……”.
“Searching, eh?” replied Arthur, showing interest. “Aren’t we all?”.
“I need to find six white boomers……”Jack blurted out.
Arthur peered more seriously into his rear-vision mirror.
“You did say six white boomers?” questioned Arthur.
“Six snow-white boomers” answered Jack.
Arthur shook his head in disbelief.
“S’pose they’re for Santa?” he smiled and winked into the mirror.
“Pardon?!” replied Jack, with surprise.
“You know…..to pull his sleigh” responded the taxi driver as he winked into the mirror a second time.
“Exactly!” beamed Jack. He could hardly believe his good luck! Arthur could hardly believe his ears, either!
“Are you fair dinkum?” he asked.
“Afraid so!” answered Jack.
Arthur discerned a sincerity in young Jack that no amount of logic could defy. It didn’t make any sense; but Arthur knew just the same that it was very real. He swung a left to clear the traffic, then another left to head into the country. Soon they were flashing past tall gum trees…….
“We’re coming toward boomer-country now!” Arthur announced after three or four hours’ driving.
Jack peered out of the back window in anticipation. Soon a large grey kangaroo came into view. Arthur “hit the anchors”just in time to miss hitting him. Jack quickly jumped from the car and handed the stunned roo his business card. The roo slowly read it:
J. Frost, Executive Assistant, Management Division, Dept of Good Tidings, NORTH POLE.
“Excuse me sir but are there six of you?” asked Jack excitedly.
The roo looked to the left and then, carefully, to the right.
“I don’t see six of me!” he slowly replied.
“I mean, are there more kangaroos?” corrected Jack.
“Our numbers are down” sighed the Big Grey “due, in part, to the economic recession, international trade disparity, the floating of the Australian dollar and……” he paused and turned accusingly toward Arthur “inconsiderate driving habits”.
Jack looked downcast.
“However” continued the animal (after ruminating for a moment) “there’s still a few of us left. A few million, that is!”.
Jack perked up.
“Of course, it’s hard to say for how long” the Roo continued, languidly. “Stress caused by hoons on the road, obesity caused by improved rural production, heart disease, kidney failure and coronary complications all caused by an inadequate and unbalanced diet… all take their toll”. He paused, for review.
Jack nodded sympathetically.
“But there are six of you, healthy at least?” he asked.
“M-a-y-b-e” replied the Roo. “it depends on why you’re asking and what you want”.
Eagerly Jack explained his mission.
The Roo shook his head vehemently in rejection.
“Out of the question!” he muttered. “Christmas eve is the Big Party! The boys would never forgive me if I missed it to pull a sleigh across the country!”.
Jack implored him, without success.
“They’ve put on a keg!” boomed the Roo, certain that such information would curtail any further discussion “It’d be un-Australian to miss it!” he added as a final note.
Try as he might, Jack was unable to change the kangaroo’s mind. In dismay, he returned to the cab and resumed his search. Yet, everywhere Arthur took him he met with failure……..
The days quickly sped by as they sought assistance throughout the Bush. From Oodnadatta to Dimbulah and Milparinka to Manjimup they met with stubborn refusal from kangaroo after kangaroo.
“I couldn’t work on a Public Holiday!”.
“I’d need triple time and a half, at least!”.
“My wife wouldn’t let me do it!”.
“Sorry, I’ve got RSI”.
“My religion forbids me to work that evening”.
“Oops, that’s my only day off!”.
“Has this been cleared with the Union?”.
“Don’t give me this! No-one believes in Santa Claus anymore!”.
Finally, the time was up: it was December 24.
Jack was totally dejected.
Arthur was dejected, too: he was worried about who was going to pay the amount on the meter!
“There’s nothing for it!” exclaimed Jack. “We’ll have to ferry Santa around in the cab!”.
Arthur didn’t believe what he was hearing! But then he hadn’t believed any of the last eight days. He gripped the wheel apprehensively. Jack touched the top of his hat (the bit with the bell) with his two index fingertips and murmured a strange incantation……”hrtg nert seme vig!”.
Suddenly, the taxi rose effortlessly into the air and swung toward the north! Arthur could feel the wind rushing through the vents as the vehicle sped noiselessly toward the Gulf of Carpentaria!
Over the Alice, across Mt Isa……onward it swiftly flew! Seemingly, in no time at all it landed on the soft, white sands of the Cape. Arthur sat rigid in the front seat, totally still, still in utter shock. Jack was out of the cab in the wink of an eye and was scanning the skies……
Slowly the sun sank and the vast canopy of stars blinked on, one after the other, in a glittering show of spectacular beauty that it had performed daily for aeons past.
The soft darkness of evening gently fell over northern Australia……
“Tinkle tinkle! Tinkle tinkle!”
Both Arthur and Jack heard the unmistakeable sounds of jangling bells in the distance. Gradually the sound rose louder and louder…… until a sweeping sleigh of lights could be seen flashing through the night sky! Within seconds, Santa sat in his sleigh alongside the taxi, peering in the window with a benevolent smile on his face.
“No six white boomers, eh?” he asked Jack.
“Afraid not!” replied Jack, awkwardly. “Best I could manage was a taxi”.
“That’s it, guys!” screamed a very red-nosed Rudolph behind them. “This is as far as we go, the end of the line! Reindeers’ unite!”. The reindeer shuffled hesitatingly in the sand. Their embarrassment was obvious, even to Arthur. Still none of them were willing to break rank with Rudolph. Santa Claus and Jack transferred all the presents from the sleigh to the backseat and boot of Arthur’s cab. Amazingly, no matter how much was stowed inside the vehicle there was always room for more……and, finally, even for Santa himself!
Jack strapped himself into the front.
Arthur tried, without success, to get a grip on reality.
Silently the taxi rose into the tropical Queensland sky and gracefully swung its front bumper bar in the direction of Cairns……..Soon it was heading toward Townsville, stopping at every homestead and dwelling to deliver the meaning of Christmas ……..then on the cab swept……. Mackay……..Rockhampton……….Bundaberg………….Gympie……….Brisbane……….Grafton………
It was between Brisbane and Grafton that a small red wallaby, looking up into the starlight, caught sight of Santa sitting in the backseat of Arthur’s cab.
“Santa!” cried the small wallaby “You’ve come without your sleigh!”.
“No-one would pull it for me!” cried Santa in reply.
“No-one asked ME!” replied the gallant little animal. “I’d have proudly done it!”.
A tear came to Santa’s eyes.
“Please turn the car, Arthur!” whispered Santa “Let’s harness the kind little fellow to the bonnet!”.
And so it was done. Sleigh bells jangled as they once more took to the skies; and the small red wallaby proudly pounded the clouds as he pulled the taxi through the air. Soon the red wallaby was joined by a grey kangaroo……..then a Giant Red……….then an Emu……..then a platypus!!
“Make sure the red wallaby always leads, please Arthur!”smiled Santa as Arthur would dutifully harness each new animal to the front of the cab.
Coffs Harbour…….Port Macquarie……Newcastle……Sydney……….Canberra…
Albury……..Melbourne……….Bendigo………..Launceston………..Hobart………….
Adelaide……….. between each city and town animals eagerly congregated, each awaiting their chance to join Santa’s entourage.
Soon the Sleigh Team stretched for kilometers in front of the taxi……..troops of wallabies, divisions of kangaroos, phalanx of emus, companies of bilbys, garrisons of echidnas, small knots of platypus, large gatherings of possums, wild wanderings of wombats……..and out the front, always, the one small, proud red wallaby.
Leaving Mount Gambier the entourage had barely gotten clear of the ground when a single camel called out across the still night air……
“Let me join you Santa! I know the way across the desert!”.
“Oh dear!” replied Santa “We don’t really have time to stop! There’s so many more presents to give , so many more places to visit!”.
But stop they did.
And that’s when it happened!
They had just harnessed up the camel and leapt back up into the sky when, without warning, the taxi lurched to the side, spun in the air a dozen times or more and then fell to the ground with a thundering crash!
It was the camel that had finally broken the taxi’s back!
Santa was distraught!
So was Jack Frost!
So was Arthur!
“Now we’ll never get to Perth!” sighed Santa as he surveyed the wreckage all around him. The desert was littered with presents and gifts. The taxi was a write-off.
Suddenly, they all heard it…….all looked up…….all watched with wonderment!
First: the sound……”Tinkle tinkle! Tinkle tinkle!”.
Then: the view…….. a thousand little lights weaving their way across the sky, shining and sparkling as they rapidly approached!
And then they were there: Santa’s reindeer pulling Santa’s sleigh! Blitzen was in the lead!
“We sacked our Union Leader!” explained Blitzen, proudly. “The strike’s off! We’re back to work!”.
Within minutes all the presents had been gathered up, re-wrapped and packed back into the sleigh. Then Santa took his normal place with Jack right behind and Arthur in pride of place beside the grand Old Man.
All the animals were harnessed to the sleigh behind the reindeer – except for the small red wallaby. He proudly took the lead in front of Blitzen!
Majestically, the sleigh and its attendant flock of Aussie followers rose into the night sky and charted a course for Perth……….
It was late morning before Arthur woke up. The sun was blazing through the windows. And he’d had the strangest dream ever! But that was last night – today he had a cab to drive!
Picking up his keys, he left the house and entered his garage. His beloved taxi was gone!
There, in its place, stood a shining new vehicle…….and next to it stood a very large, very red and very shiny sleigh.
Arthur edged over to the backdoor and peered nervously out into the yard. Nothing. Nothing that is except one very small, very red wallaby nibbling the grass.
It stopped and gently looked at him.
And then it winked!
Happy Christmas!!
Les & Trudi